What you say to yourself matters

What you say to yourself affects so much of your life, your relationships, and your business that you probably wouldn’t believe it. People have literally talked themselves sick or well, and there are many instances of this happening.

In my friend Ken Hannaman’s book, Ungraduated: Finding your why and dropping out of outdated belief systems, there’s a story that illustrates this in the extreme. A man was visited in the hospital by a priest, who accidentally gave last rites to him and not his roommate. The roommate actually was dying, but this man was recovering well and was expected to be discharged home to be with his family. But instead, the healthier man died soon after the priest left.

There was no reason for his death other than what he said to himself. The priest gave him last rites, so it must mean that he would die at any moment, right? No. It was a mistake. How sad. What you say to yourself is important.

Now, we probably aren’t in a hospital bed mistakenly receiving last rites. We probably aren’t telling ourselves that we’re going to die soon, either, but we might not always tell ourselves the best things. Think about what you say to yourself. Do you ever speak trouble into your life? If you worry or suffer from anxiety, you probably do. Remember that there is power of life and death in the tongue.

What you say to yourself affects you. This woman talking into the mirror is confident.

Self-Talk for entrepreneurs

Entrepreneurs, including Realtors, can have mindset issues. Self-talk for entrepreneurs can be negative because of that.

  • We tend to doubt ourselves and our abilities.
  • We think we’re not good enough.
  • We tend to underprice our products and services.
  • We hold ourselves back from bigger deals because we think we don’t belong there.

The power of deciding

I want to talk to you about the power of the phrase “I decided.” I thought about and processed this for a few weeks after I came back from the TLF retreat in St. Augustine that I wrote about before in Borrowed Confidence. I did a podcast episode on the power of this phrase. This phrase was so meaningful to me, and I think it can be a game changer for your business as well.

At the retreat, someone was talking about when they raised their prices, their business grew quickly because people suddenly saw the value of what they were doing. I wish I could give credit to that person, but I don’t remember who it was.

Then Vincent said, “Well, how did you decide what you were worth?”

And the person responded, “I decided, and it was that way.” It’s such a simple thing, but it’s so profound at the same time.

At the end of March 2022, I shared about a luxury listing and meeting the clients and how I felt like an imposter. But I knew if I could just get a seat at the table, I’d have a chance at success, and I did, and I did a great job with that listing.

You don’t need permission to raise your prices. You don’t need permission to say, “I’m a great listing agent. I can list luxury properties.” You just need to decide and believe in yourself. And that’s what I really want you to hear: deciding is powerful.

No one gave them permission to say, “You can raise your prices. You can charge what a professional would charge for this job.” They just decided.

Changing what you say to yourself

How often in our real estate career are there things that we could be doing or growing in or having success in, but we are too scared? We have imposter syndrome.

What if, instead, I decided I am worthy of these things? I am a great person, whatever the job is. Realtors, say, “I am a great Realtor. I am worthy of getting these amazing big listings.” What if we just decide and stop waiting for someone else to give us permission?

And so I would encourage you guys in changing what you say to yourself. Apply it in your real estate career. What would your life look like? What would your business look like if you just stopped with the negative self-talk?

Saying, “I decided”

Just say, “Nope, I’m deciding that I’m doing this.” What would that look like? Where would your business be in a year or two years if you just stopped waiting for permission and started deciding that you’re going to do these things? What if you change what you say to yourself about your worth?

I want you to say to yourself, “I decided. I just decided that I’m going to do this,” and I’d love to hear about it. If you think about what you say to yourself, and it helps your business, I’d love to hear from you.


Show notes and blog posts brought to you by HarshmanServices.com and RealtorEmails.com

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